michelle’s Neighborhood

I read sixty books...well a few of them were audio books. Also I think the only reason I managed to read that many was because I read a lot of young adult or easy fiction. This is my defense letter...yes I read a Nicholas Sparks book and the House of Night series. One of my favorite books that I read this year was The Host by Stephanie Meyer...Stephanie is a terrible writer but she sure does know how to spin a story and she sure does know how to make you care about the characters. I feel like some people can be really snobby about the books they read but to be honest when I was in school and I had to read about things like moral luck and retributivism among other things like development and the cognition of an infant all I wanted was something easy to read to give my mind a break. So I dove right in to them. For the record I actually don't really like Nicholas Sparks and never have. I feel like he's really predictable in his writing like the fact that something tragic always happens in the story. For whatever reason  The Last Song interested me and I quite enjoyed it. I'm reading Her Fearful Symmetry right now and I hope to finish it before the years is out but I'm not positive that will happen..anyway here is my list. I think my favorites were The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, Lonesome Dove, Thirteen Reasons Why and Psych Major Syndrome. I did not like Jessica Z. The ones with the * on it are rereads for me!

Long ago, when I lived in Boston, my roommates and I had a problem with mice. Now, we were clean people, so it frustrated us that half a dozen mice had taken up residence in our house.

We set out traps and one morning my roommate Julia and I found a poor little mouse stuck to an icky sticky trap. Neither of us had the stomach to deal with it right after waking up, so we walked to Dunkin Donuts and had breakfast.

While we were gone, Kate and Hillary cleaned up the mouse.

Now, living back in California, I have no roommates. So if I go out for donuts, no one will be around to catch and clean up the mouse that is living somewhere downstairs.

I have GOT to get a roommate.

And I need a donut.

For some reason I am very cold and a little sad.

My mom she came in and did what she does every year. She said "I didn't get my daughter enough for Christmas". Usually or rather in the past she has then taken me out to pick something. This year I said "yes you did and no you don't have to get me anything more".

Reasons why my mom gives me plenty and does plenty for me.

She listens to me obsess and be overly anxious.
She tells me repeatedly not to worry.
She always helped me in school when I needed it, from kindergarten on. I would not have gotten as far as I did if she had not helped me.
When she goes on vacation she always calls me once a day.
She worries about me if I go out at night, she always wants to know where I am at or where I'm going.
She tells me that I am a good person and that I am her sweet daughter even when I'm not feeling so much the good person.
Even though I get annoyed with her and some times am not always nice to her she still loves me and still refers to as her sweet daughter. (except I have this theory that you tend to take things out on the people you care about and that care about you because they'll love you no matter what or so you assume).
She taught me my love of reading.
She has always been there for me and supportive of me.
She lets me come in to her room at night so that I can talk her ear off even though she's tired.
She doesn't think she got me enough for Christmas but she did..she got me plenty because she loves me.

There are a lot more reasons but these are the most important ones.

Merry Christmas everyone.

The council held a short Pleno on Wednesday 23rd December.

The main business was to discuss the costings for the Town Hall WiFi. A communication had been received from the authorities as to what we should charge for connections. We had a lengthy discussion about the rates to be charged and whether the elderly, students or the poor could have reduced rates. It was agreed that we should give heavily discounted rates, to such people, on proof of their qualification. We also agreed the rates in line with the advice and those shown previously.A start date for the fees ahs not yet beeen agreed but I guess it will be in the New Year. I also asked that we identify wheta periods people could pay for in advance (we don't want to have top pay every month) and that was also agreed.

We also agreed to apply for a loan from the bank and we are also considering changing the bank in which we hold Town Hall funds as currently we do not receive very generous account conditions.

Nothing else of much interest.

Pagi ini aku bangun dan ngerasa lega karena ... ternyata ini jatah liburku. Senang. Lumayan..libur dua hari sekaligus, 24 desember jatah libur mingguanku dan 25 desember natal. Besok pas tahun baruan juga libur panjang, dari 31 desember sampe 3 januari 2010.

Lena dalam teenlit the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants pernah merumuskan, kalo mau tau apakah pekerjaanmu itu pas apa engga buatmu, liatlah dari perasaanmu pada malam senin atau minggu malam. Yaitu, pada saat liburmu berakhir n hari kerjamu menjelang. Kaitannya sama aku, gini: kayaknya aku seneng banget kalo liburan n sering ngantuk kalo kerja. Artinya apa, hayo? :P

Bisa jadi emang dasar aku yang males. Bisa jadi emang ga terlalu cocok jadi "tenaga kerja". Karena, pada dasarnya jam kerjaku tu dikit banget. Lebih layak untuk dibandingkan dengan semacam summer job daripada permanent job. Tapi, duitnya lumayan. Jadi, intinya ... aku udah terbeli. Dan, mungkin aku cuma sedang kelelahan.

Kemaren bener2 hari yang melelahkan. Jam 9 pagi ada meeting di kafe. Kafenya belum buka so kami cuma make kursi outdoor n dibelikan kopi kalengan dari toserba mini. Meetingnya ngebahas tanaman merambat yang ga jelas namanya. Aku amazed dengan koordinator kami yang sering dan dengan nyaman menggunakan kata2 "idealisme, prinsip, tujuan, cita2". Inilah pekerjaan pertamaku yang secara terang2an dan tidak malu2 memprogramkan adanya semacam "suntikan keyakinan" seperti ini. Menurutku sederhana dan logis sih, apa yang dilakukannya: kami diharap dapat bekerja dengan lebih baik jika kami yakin dengan apa yang kami lakukan.

Bagiku, idealisme itu klise kalo ga diruntuhkan dulu n baru dikais-kais n direnggut dari puing2 yang tersisa. Idealisme instan n cangkokan, ga pernah dibenturkan, well, menurutku itu bukan idealisme. Ketika itu ga perlu nalar n tanpa ada daya kritis ya aku sepakat dengan orang yang bilang kalo itu sama dengan cuci otak. Tapi maklumlah begitu, karena agar dunia kerja bisa berjalan memang dibutuhkan sesuatu yang instan dan praktis!

Sebelum berangkat kerja, seusai meeting, kami makan bareng2. Makan aja heboh! Soalnya, rekan kerjaku masih muda2 semua, seringkali aku merasa pengen ketawa sendiri. Gara2, absurd sekali rasanya aku harus mengalami segala gejolak kemudaan teman2 yang rasanya, aduh, geli! Banyak yang masih kayak anak2, harus senantiasa diperhatikan. Banyak yang blingsatan karena cinlok. Ada juga menghalalkan kejudesannya dengan alasan lagi "dapet". Ada2 aja. Masih aja yang kayak gini eksis ya, di dunia kerja? Jangan lupa, FB tu penting banget. Cape deh kalo aku harus berteman ma mereka di kerjaan plus di FB juga. Kapan aku terbebas dari mereka :P

Habis makan ada yang ibadah, ada yang langsung berangkat ke lokasi kerja. Aku dapet lokasi di depan mirota batik. Rame sekali! Gila, pusing deh kepala. Dua hari sebelumnya sih kerjaku lumayan sukses di mirota batik ini. Tapi 23 desember ini aku gagal total. Semua rekan setimku, kami bertiga, gagal total. Yah, paling ngga, kami bisa foto sama artis! (Temen2ku pake istilah artis, so pardon me). Cantik banget, ketika difoto sepertinya kulitnya tuh bersinar gitu, sementara kami terlihat seperti rakyat jelata :P Anehnya, kami ga tau namanya siapa. Kami cuma tau dia main ftv "pacarku pendek sekali".

Salah satu temenku histeris banget. Pas si artis mau keluar dari mirota batik dia ngebego2in temen lain, nyuruh cepet2 pegang kamera. Jepret satu kali, dengan posisi duduk di kursi berkanopi depan mirota batik. Eh, belum cukup rupanya. Dia sampe2 kayak menguntit gitu di depan gedung agung, heboh,"sumpah dia mau ke sini! Sumpah dia lewat!". Hahaha... :lol:

Tambahan lagi ni ya, sampe sekarang dia masih heboh dengan "gigitan" si artis. Maksudnya, artis itu pas difoto senyum sambil gigit bibir bawah gitu. Trus bayangan temenku jadi aneh2 deh :P dan dia juga ikut2an gaya kayak gitu tiap kali difoto.

Pas break kami sekalian aja ikut ke depan gedung agung. Trus nyebrang ke depan benteng vredeburg, aku makan sate. Si rekan yang histeris itu makan2in sate aku tapi ga mau beli sendiri, hehe. Sampe satu jam kami istirahat, tapi rekan yang satu lagi delusional sok yakin bahwa kami istirahat ga nyampe 30 menit. Padahal, jam tanganku dan jam Ngejaman di malioboro menunjukkan udah satu jam. Dia sih bukan berdasarkan jam tapi berdasarkan takut dimarahin ketua. Apalagi kami memutuskan pulang lebih awal setengah jam, dia ketakutan banget sampe nyuruh2 aku dianterin biar ga ketahuan. Parno ih. Biarin aja wong aku suka jalan kaki sambil liat2 kanan kiri ini, ye!

Malamnya, kami ada farewell party karena si koordinator n rekannya dipindahtugaskan, ke jakarta n bandung. Kami nodong traktiran di resto super fancy. Wuih pokoknya mahal banget deh, life musicnya perkusi akustik gitu, belum lagi suasana n tempatnya yang pake lilin2 sepanjang jalan, trus ada lukisan2 gedeee, berasa gimana gitu! Aku kenyang karena pesen menu spesial, masakan india, bulgogi! Beuu..semuanya pas banget ma lidah aku. Temen2 lebih pilih ayam, bebek, dll. (Yah, itu sih standar.) Abis tu aku pesen minum mint. Sengaja aku pesen menu2 yang kira2 ga ada di tempat lain, hehe. Temen2ku kaget banget dengan rasa mint. Lah kalo sekadar minum strawberry milkshake, kan banyak di mana2, manisnya itu biasa banget n bisa ngilangin/matiin citarasa makanan tadi. Kalo tomato with mint kan diminum dingin gitu, ga manis, di dalem mulut jadi seger pedes kayak ada salju antartika, sampe ke hidung dan paru2. Kayak mau beku gitu! Temenku bilang rasanya kayak rokok menthol. Mungkin rasanya kayak odol juga :P

Abis tu mulailah bernorak ria: foto2. Awalnya ga enak ntar dianggap kampungan, lama2 eh foto2 terus. Di depan lukisan, di depan lilin2, semua deh. Yang lain pada anteng nikmatin makan n suasana, rombongan kami sibuk mengabadikan diri! Kok seperti sekali seumur hidup aja makan di sini! Wakakak!

Nah, pas mau pulang ada cerita lucu tentang miss universe dan black box. Aku ga pengen ketawa, so, masak maksa? Sebenernya apa yang aku pikirkan tu ternyata berlapis2 untuk sampe ke bagaimana reaksi aku. Jadi ya aku justru ketawa sendiri pas udah sampe di rumah mengingat cara berpikir n reaksi aku itu. Gatau deh, temen2 sering bilang selera humorku aneh. Tentang si black box ini sebenernya aku mau bilang "emang temen2 ga tau kalo black box itu warnanya ga item?" Black box kan metafor karena isinya konfidensial. Sementara warna kotaknya sendiri harus ngejreng supaya gampang ditemuin. Makanya, warnanya oranye. Eh, alih2 ngomong yang sebenarnya kayak gitu, aku malah hening n bilang "kan orang tu ga kotak?" Detil kayak gitu tuh aku pikirin, sampe sms si koordinator hehehe. Jadi biar deh, semakin orang mengenalku mereka akan makin bingung betapa anehnya aku, hihihi.

Akhirnya untuk menutup malam, mereka lanjut ke lounge atau apalah itu. Aku males banget. Mending pulang duluan. Mungkin orang mengira aku kesepian karena orang rumah udah pada tidur. Tapi aku bisa nemuin temen2ku sendiri kok. Misalnya aku lagi nyelesaiin baca e-book forever in blue (sisterhood of the traveling pants 4). Tokoh2nya tuh mengingatkanku pada sobat2 sma aku. Mereka mau ke jogja loh dalam rangka libur akhir taun! Duh kangen, kami udah pencar2 gini, kayak punya jalan hidup sendiri2 dan ga saling bertemu di persimpangan. Aku juga bisa ngeblog di hari libur, ternyata menyenangkan sekali! Inilah suaraku, kalo kata casseybunn "be a voice not an echo".

I love u, dear readers! Makasih udah mau baca seserpih kehidupan aku :)

Called into the Town Hall this morning just to let Andreas know that his phone call on my behalf regarding the 40 euro fine I had received from Granada, and been trying to pay since September, had got a reaction at last. It had prompted a new bill this time for 300 euros. Great!

She's ninety and it's hard for her to see. Glaucoma has made her world blurry and the only way she can look at her gossip magazines is with a lighted magnifying glass. The glass can't help her to read though, those days are over.

Her nails bother her and the kids joke that she shouldn't let me near them - I cut everything too short.  But she does want me near them and she asks if I will trim them for her. I'm nervous about this, the last thing I want to do is injure her and I don't have my reading glasses with me. I'm at the stage where I can still read my watch and a menu without glasses,  but I won't sign a contract without them and I probably shouldn't pull out splinters or go after eyelashes unless they're on. I really should start to carry them with me.

Glasses or no, she wants me to help her, and I can't say no. I pick up her cosmetics bag and find her nail trimmer and nail file. "Do I have an emery board?" she asks doubtfully. Yes, sweetie, I've got it.

I gently pick up one hand and cut the end of the nail, careful not too cut it too short. She tests the length against another finger, then her cheek. "That's perfect." Carefully, slowly, I cut and file the rest of them.

Together we examine the polish and decide her nail color is still pretty - no need to repaint. She feels all of her fingertips one by one and thanks me in a more heartfelt manner than I deserve. This chokes me up a little. Small pleasures. Small gifts. Little things that matter.

At the airport, I am overcome with the same feeling I always get when I leave her. What if this is the last time we see each other? Have I made her feel loved enough? Does she know how much she matters to us?

Cassandre starts to tear up at the airport, looking at a carved stone heart "made in Utah." She wants it to remind her of this trip. To remind her of her great-grandmother. I remind her that she'll be back next month, she'll see her again soon. She nods solemnly and asks me again to please buy her the necklace. She promises to pay me back. (Who could ask for the money?)

At home Cassandre picks up the ancient candlesticks my grandfather sent to my grandmother from England right before he was shot down and killed over Germany in WWII. I am responsible for taking care of these precious memories, but I have not washed them lately and they are tarnished and dirty. Cassandre wants to clean them and together we take them apart, piece by loving piece. We wash and dry each one, noting where the silversmith has encoded "A" "B" "C" and "5" "6" "7" so we know exactly which part goes back where. Soap and water make good progress, but not enough. We buy some polish to bring the shine back.

It makes us feel connected to do this work. Hands on labor to restore some dignity to something so precious. We don't try to make it perfect, just better.

Im going home
Downhearted and hoping
Im close to some new beginning
I know
Theres a reason for everything
That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But Im just surviving
I may be weak but Im never defeated
And Ill keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days
I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside
My bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while
Somethings keeping me safe
And alive

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But Im just surviving
I may be weak but Im never defeated
And Ill keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining 

I wont give up like this
I will be given strength
And now that Ive found it
Nothing can take that away